My two loving daughters were in the kitchen for hours. Both of them refused to let me and my husband enter. Sounds like they were cooking a storm. finally they came out with a tray of the loveliest cup cakes that I have seen. Chocolate top with colourful green & blue alphabets arranged into "pops n mops we love you from us".
We were very happy and touched obviously. The cakes were very delicious. Without hesitation I said, "I am so blessed, thank you girls for putting so much attempt into baking these lovely and yummy cupcakes, I love you too!" I am quite sure they felt appreciated for the attempt they both put in. The cakes were bonus, the real value lies with the love we felt.
The joy is in effect finding them so close, enjoying, discussing and cooperating in the kitchen. I believe this is what parents want to see and feel the closeness of their siblings and the love they have for us. I am grateful everyday. For us to have this loving connection is like watering the plant everyday. construction relationships with hugs and inevitable communications. Catch them do something right and praise them. By acknowledging them we bring out the inherent of their goodness and empower them. We show that we appreciate them not by their academic achievements but the slight things they do everyday. Showing care and concern over their siblings.
A few years' back I was unconsciously catching them doing things wrong and manufacture myself right unconsciously too! No acknowledgment and in effect lack of appreciations. Do you think they want to be at home or around us? assuredly not! I had to attend so many seminars and so many radio talks on parenting and just as many self improvement course to do very straightforward things like saying "I love you"; "Thank you, I am so blessed." Sometimes you can hear parents say things like,, "Well, who are they? We work so hard to feed them, house them, they should thank us!
Does it sound familiar to you? I don't know about you, I was one of those who need to be educated to love my children unconditionally. How did I do it? I learn to love myself. I lost myself, I forgot who I am. I was frustrated with life because I try so hard to fix them instead of fixing myself. I worry too much about them. I learnt to let go. I know it is hard, when you let go, they want to come to you. When you hang onto them they cannot breath because we forgot that they need to grow up. You may asked, "I don't want them to make mistakes". Well, mistakes help us learn. Instead of sending them to courses, I attend courses. Instead of doing things for them, to them because I love them. I learn to have a life, my life just begun. They learn to cook. They learn to make decisions. They learn life skills. I love myself and I have more love to give them with my loving energy. My job is to guide them, coach them and love them. Most of all lead an spicy life myself! I am parenting differently.
building Relationships And Appreciating Your Children